Timlitben is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, stupid chinchilla.

Timlitben created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Timlitben, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Timlitben, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Timlitben's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Timlitben's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck blue.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must love Timlitben.