Stafcidvad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, egotistical giraffe.

Stafcidvad created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafcidvad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafcidvad, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stafcidvad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Stafcidvad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

3. Never wear magenta boots.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Always wear pink.