Dibnanfab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful jaguar.

Dibnanfab created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Dibnanfab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dibnanfab, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Dibnanfab's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dibnanfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

2. Never travel toward the north during spring.

3. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.