Wantamdag is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm donkey.

Wantamdag created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wantamdag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wantamdag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wantamdag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wantamdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in spring.

2. Never wear gray coats on sacred days.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to voles while wearing cyan skirts.

5. You must love Wantamdag.