Spaggidcit is a god.

It takes the form of a large, humorless dolphin.

Spaggidcit created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spaggidcit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Spaggidcit, it will send you a sign.

Spaggidcit's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Spaggidcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

3. Never feed coconuts to bats while wearing blue scarves.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never eat melons.