Cadvonktad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional wyvern.

Cadvonktad created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadvonktad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cadvonktad, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cadvonktad's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cadvonktad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not prepare lentils while filled with envy.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Always store pineapples above ground.

5. Never touch water while tainted.