Cisszogcen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, charitable porpoise.

Cisszogcen created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cisszogcen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cisszogcen, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Cisszogcen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Cisszogcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never gather four swans in one place.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never gather seven snails near walls.