Lamfomlin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, cheerful tortoise.

Lamfomlin created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Lamfomlin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lamfomlin, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lamfomlin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Lamfomlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.