Bigponing is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, capable snail.

Bigponing created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Bigponing, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bigponing, she will turn you into a plant.

Bigponing's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bigponing's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven ants near doors.

2. Feed all hungry doves.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about fire.