Sterpaktailmishomcidbam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, smart dryad.

Sterpaktailmishomcidbam created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterpaktailmishomcidbam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sterpaktailmishomcidbam, she will destroy your home planet.

Sterpaktailmishomcidbam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sterpaktailmishomcidbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow pigs to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Sterpaktailmishomcidbam loves hamsters, so they must be respected.