Arpbegdap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful mink.

Arpbegdap created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Arpbegdap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Arpbegdap, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Arpbegdap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Arpbegdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Never remain kneeling at midnight.