Cetlistbambarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental tortoise.

Cetlistbambarn created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Cetlistbambarn, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cetlistbambarn, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cetlistbambarn's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cetlistbambarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow hamsters to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.