Fenrutjip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish goblin.

Fenrutjip created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Fenrutjip, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fenrutjip, it will turn you into a snail.

Fenrutjip's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fenrutjip's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed rice to seals while wearing red boots.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.