Quimjatlib is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous wasp.

Quimjatlib created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimjatlib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quimjatlib, she will be mildly annoyed.

Quimjatlib's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Quimjatlib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

4. Do not hurt mites.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.