Flapbestdit is a god.

She takes the form of a small, benevolent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flapbestdit created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapbestdit, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flapbestdit, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flapbestdit's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Flapbestdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Never cross mountains at midnight.

4. Never adorn your back with blue markings.

5. Flapbestdit loves snails, so they must be respected.