Xemfossmil is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omniscient bird.

Xemfossmil created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Xemfossmil, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xemfossmil, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xemfossmil's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Xemfossmil's Holy Commandments

1. Put Xemfossmil first in all things.

2. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

3. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never eat nuts on fasting days.