Talfudbemquam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident warg.

Talfudbemquam created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Talfudbemquam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Talfudbemquam, he will curse you with boils.

Talfudbemquam's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Talfudbemquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Always remove skirts before touching lead.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.