Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, clever skunk.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag, she will be mildly annoyed.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Bamnilfetquamrigcubwitquag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

5. Always take life seriously.