Gepfasteentaf is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical swallow.

Gepfasteentaf created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepfasteentaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gepfasteentaf, she will curse you with boils.

Gepfasteentaf's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gepfasteentaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gepfasteentaf.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about corn.

5. Fast once a month.