Gonmatdab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, capable dryad.

Gonmatdab created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gonmatdab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonmatdab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gonmatdab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gonmatdab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Hide if six great tits approach from the west.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always help eagles in need.