Taptarsad Monpibcub is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty octopus.

Taptarsad Monpibcub created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taptarsad Monpibcub, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Taptarsad Monpibcub, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Taptarsad Monpibcub's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Taptarsad Monpibcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must never eat garlic.