Hadgepdin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hadgepdin created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadgepdin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hadgepdin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Hadgepdin's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Hadgepdin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always remove shoes before touching iron.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.