Quamcampid is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, happy bear.

Quamcampid created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamcampid, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quamcampid, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Quamcampid's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quamcampid's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Always obey Quamcampid's priests.

5. Learn five new languages a year.