Tifdubsit Flatgumnill Febhamgov is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured crab.

Tifdubsit Flatgumnill Febhamgov created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifdubsit Flatgumnill Febhamgov, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tifdubsit Flatgumnill Febhamgov, he will turn you into a duck.

Tifdubsit Flatgumnill Febhamgov's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tifdubsit Flatgumnill Febhamgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never mark doors with orange.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.