Ingtamflab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, narcissistic tapir.

Ingtamflab created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Ingtamflab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ingtamflab, he will jump up and down on your head.

Ingtamflab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Ingtamflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange shirts.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must pray to Ingtamflab seven times a day.

5. Never stain your chest with yellow.