Kikteenweg Dantapdud is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, prudent lion.

Kikteenweg Dantapdud created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Kikteenweg Dantapdud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kikteenweg Dantapdud, it will turn you into a mouse.

Kikteenweg Dantapdud's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kikteenweg Dantapdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight voles near doors.

2. Never talk about special relativity near horses while wearing mauve dresses.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shave your head.