Fubmoncem Targpoptam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unfair unicorn.

Fubmoncem Targpoptam created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubmoncem Targpoptam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fubmoncem Targpoptam, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fubmoncem Targpoptam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fubmoncem Targpoptam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not eat apples.