Bogkantarg is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody zebra.

Bogkantarg created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogkantarg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bogkantarg, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bogkantarg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bogkantarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to whales while wearing cyan corsets.

2. Erect four platinum sculptures of Bogkantarg on top of important buildings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bogkantarg.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bogkantarg.

5. Never look at stars.