Sadlibkam Hivollap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless goat.

Sadlibkam Hivollap created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sadlibkam Hivollap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sadlibkam Hivollap, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sadlibkam Hivollap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Sadlibkam Hivollap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Never allow turtles to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.