Gubveenflan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent mongoose.

Gubveenflan created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubveenflan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gubveenflan, he will make you grow a tail.

Gubveenflan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gubveenflan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gubveenflan.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Never pour water over plants.