Tonfabnat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced guinea pig.

Tonfabnat created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonfabnat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonfabnat, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tonfabnat's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tonfabnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near squirrels while wearing cyan dresses and balancing four lead spheres on your chest.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never talk about snails.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Tonfabnat in the centre of the settlement.