Fidkonwik is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, duplicitous capybara.

Fidkonwik created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Fidkonwik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fidkonwik, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fidkonwik's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fidkonwik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with mauve.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Erect four zinc sculptures of Fidkonwik on top of important buildings.