Stikfutbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, able goat.

Stikfutbarn created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikfutbarn, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stikfutbarn, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stikfutbarn's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Stikfutbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear dresses marked with red.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never mark doors with gray.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.