Dapgenquill Narldimfad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, deceitful raven.

Dapgenquill Narldimfad created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Dapgenquill Narldimfad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dapgenquill Narldimfad, it will turn you into a worm.

Dapgenquill Narldimfad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Dapgenquill Narldimfad's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Never mix melons with ash.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.