Getfumzog is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, happy narwhal.

Getfumzog created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Getfumzog, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Getfumzog, he will try to impress you with trees.

Getfumzog's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Getfumzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.