Volzaktab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tranquil beaver.

Volzaktab created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volzaktab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Volzaktab, it will remove you from existence.

Volzaktab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Volzaktab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.