Gatgodkar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, slow finch.

Gatgodkar created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Gatgodkar, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gatgodkar, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gatgodkar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gatgodkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Fast once a month.