Ortstercet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, self-confident goblin.

Ortstercet created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortstercet, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ortstercet, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ortstercet's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Ortstercet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Never gather eight tapirs in one place.

3. Ortstercet loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not travel during autumn.

5. Do not bounce at forests.