Tarpnulkon is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful owl.

Tarpnulkon created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnulkon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tarpnulkon, she will manifest in front of you.

Tarpnulkon's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tarpnulkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to geese while wearing turquoise shoes.

3. Always help sick grasshopers.

4. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.

5. Never allow porpoises to sleep beneath your roof.