Sisstragton Nutcanhen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, blissful cobra.

Sisstragton Nutcanhen created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisstragton Nutcanhen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sisstragton Nutcanhen, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sisstragton Nutcanhen's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Sisstragton Nutcanhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with orange.

4. Always remove kilts before touching gold.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.