Dagzakvab is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain slug.

Dagzakvab created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagzakvab, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dagzakvab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Dagzakvab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dagzakvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.

4. Dagzakvab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always remove shirts before touching silicon.