Hancipstig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable hamster.

Hancipstig created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hancipstig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hancipstig, she will not care.

Hancipstig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Hancipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Run away from brown turtles, for they are unholy.