Hapflowmab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome aardvark.

Hapflowmab created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapflowmab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hapflowmab, he will turn you into a hamster.

Hapflowmab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Hapflowmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

4. Do not prepare peanuts while wearing dresses.

5. Never wear purple shoes on sacred days.