Naknuttquatmut is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, all-knowing giraffe.

Naknuttquatmut created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Naknuttquatmut, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Naknuttquatmut, it will turn you into a plant.

Naknuttquatmut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Naknuttquatmut's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Worship no other gods but Naknuttquatmut.

3. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

4. Never wear brown skirts.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.