Gemhugmat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous wyrm.

Gemhugmat created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemhugmat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gemhugmat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gemhugmat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gemhugmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange stockings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never travel toward the south during autumn.