Camnurlkop Jonpidnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-powerful giraffe.

Camnurlkop Jonpidnarl created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Camnurlkop Jonpidnarl, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Camnurlkop Jonpidnarl, she will throw large rocks at you.

Camnurlkop Jonpidnarl's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Camnurlkop Jonpidnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if five geese approach from the north.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.