Jamvolomin is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, kind capybara.

Jamvolomin created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamvolomin, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jamvolomin, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jamvolomin's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jamvolomin's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always wash your arms before prayer.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.