Butnartcisshitmig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing elephant.

Butnartcisshitmig created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butnartcisshitmig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Butnartcisshitmig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Butnartcisshitmig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Butnartcisshitmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never gather five goats near walls.

4. Run away if four dogs approach from the west.

5. Never wear scarves.