Jarngemcab is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omniscient goose.

Jarngemcab created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarngemcab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jarngemcab, she will not invite you to parties.

Jarngemcab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Jarngemcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Jarngemcab on top of all buildings.

3. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

4. Never paint your hands gray.

5. Always look after injured cats.