Hatmotpan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, kind aardvark.

Hatmotpan created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hatmotpan, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hatmotpan, it will torture you forever.

Hatmotpan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hatmotpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not gather at wells at dawn.